Unbelievably Angry

Why do I do this to myself?

It had been a year. I told her I wanted to see her. I asked if she would come see me. I pointed out that my Birthday had just passed and that she was retired so she had a lot of time with no commitments. I told her I wanted it to be like a vacation, and I even offered to pay the plane ticket. She said she'd think about it.

I called her two days later to see if she was ready to agree. She informed me that she had been hired for a job at a superstore and was starting the next morning.When I asked her why she had gotten a job just when I asked her to come see me, she explained that she needed the money for the ticket I already offered to buy. I expressed frustration that we would have to schedule around her full-time job now. She said she had told her manager she wanted two or three days off in a row to see me.

I pointed out that if she did this then she would spend one day driving here, one day flying back and we would have so little time in between. I told her I wanted to spend more time. She said she couldn't ask for more. I said I'd try to work around it.

I rearranged my schedule and figured out a way to get to Michigan by driving 15 hours with a stranger from craig's list, spending $150 worth of gas. Cutting out the travel time, that meant two days to spend with her after a year.

When I got there, she informed me that she was working the next two days for eight hours each day.

All in all, I'm pissed that I waisted my time coming here to see someone who obviously went so far out of her way to ignore me. If she wasn't willing to meet me 1/10 of the way, then why am I here?Why is it that I give her so many chances? If I am so totally disappointing to her and she is to me then why do we still have a relationship?